


In Your Skin

by YourLocalPriestess



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, Fix-It, Kinda, Suffering, set in me3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-12-24 12:00:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12012276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourLocalPriestess/pseuds/YourLocalPriestess
Summary: Mordin Solus and Melissa Shepard couldn't be more different if they tried, save for one fact: They are both ridiculously fucking stubborn.





	In Your Skin

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ThunderheadFred](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThunderheadFred/gifts).



> A belated contribution to the August Challenge. Prompt: Gift Fic
> 
> Soooo, once upon a time, [thunderheadfred](http://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderheadfred/works) read [Equidistant Damages](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10087136/chapters/22475636), my spiraling AU, and said, "But WHAT IF...Mordin romanced one of those Shepards?"
> 
> Well, turns out he did. In fact, he romanced the first one. This is all your fault Fred. I blame youuuuu.
> 
> Moments of their relationship during the events of ME3, all the way from being reunited, to being torn apart.

Shepard charged up the ramp after her team, chased by gunfire that ricocheted off her shields. Her breath came in ragged bursts as she stopped at the top to glance over her shoulder at the remaining Cerberus fighters, still firing even as the _Normandy_ lifted off.

Bile rose in her throat as she thought of what they’d almost accomplished, of what they could have done. If they’d been a few hours late –

“How’s Eve, professor?” she barked into her comms.

“Patient stable.”

That was all he gave her.

She sighed and made sure he heard it. “And you?”

There was a silence through the comms, a hesitation with every second feeling like decades as the doors began to close on the hangar. “Also stable,” he finally replied in his normal, monotone voice.

Giving her nothing to go on.

She growled and switched her line.  “Light ‘em up.”

The dull sound of cannon fire echoed through the hangar. James approached her: The heavy weight of his hand on her shoulder roused her out of her own head and tore her gaze away from the now-sealed door.

“You alright, Lola?”

She pressed her lips into a thin line. “I should go.” She shoved past him and made her way to the elevator without bothering to change.

 

~~~

 

Mordin moved with sure steps through the lab. The territory was familiar, not unlike the SR2, not entirely the same either. Eve sat on a bed behind him, still watching; an ever present observer. Most of the time it amused him, to feel as an experiment for the first time in–

The thought shrivelled and died before it fully formed, because it didn’t amuse him now. He gripped the datapad, finger tips turning  white; scrolling codes and data consuming the forefront of his thought, of his focus.

And yet –

How many times had she come back to him, bloodied for the sake of others? How many times had he chastised her for her recklessness? And she had been forced into yet another near-impossible situation, for his sake, which was somehow worse.

 _Risk vs reward_ , he thought. _Never known when to say no_.

Fear was such a strange thing. Chemical, really. The amygdala secreting pheromones to heighten sensation. Necessary for survival. A base instinct, at best. Not needed now. Not when his fingers glistened with sweat. Not when his eyes skirted to the door – _again_ – against his commands not to look. Not to think about it. He needed to focus on –

Air rushed through the room. His fingers fell slack and the datapad hit the floor with a _crack_.

Melissa Shepard, wide eyed and still, consuming the room with her presence as she always did. Her long black hair was matted and clinging to her skin. Damp with _something_ . The black and blue armor held scorch marks and dents. Places that _almost_ took her. Blood smeared across her face; her failed attempt to wipe it away.

_Not hers. Don’t be hers._

Shepard took slow steps forward, her tongue darting out to her lips for a moment as she did. The clanking of her steps jarred him back to her expression. To her eyes. To her lips. And then she was there, in front of him, inches away. She didn’t look away, didn’t blink, as she ripped away the latches on her gauntlets until they fell to the floor with a clatter. He watched her swallow as she lifted shaky fingers to his face.

When they finally met his skin, a stilted sigh escaped her. Her breath washed over him in a rush, and he realized he was sighing too. Then her fingers were at the back of his neck, pulling his head down and pressing her forehead against his while his own arms wrapped tight around her back until she was closer still.

“You’re okay,” she breathed, a watery smile quirking at her lips.

“Yes. Because of you.”

“You’re damn right.” A breathy chuckle left her as she looked up at him, grinning. “You infernal man.” She tiptoed and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

Mordin was sure he’d never feel so safe again.

 

~~~

 

“Goddammit, Mordin! You can’t do this,” Melissa shouted, a rugged plea buried in the words as she gripped the railing of the platform.

Mordin shot her a glare  she could barely see through the smoke as he continued to type into the console. “Have to ensure cure dispersed properly. Manual override required.”

“It’s not,” she hissed, slamming a fist against the rail. “It’s not!” She swallowed and clenched her fists as she marched over to him. Their shoulders brushed as she moved him aside and typed wildly into the machine, ignoring the debris and fire falling all around them, ignoring the taste of ash of her tongue. After a few minutes, the screen flashed green on all sensors. She looked up to find him staring wide eyed.

“See?” Her voice was small and quiet, but she knew he heard.

He reached out and let his hand hover over the screen, almost as if he might touch it, but was too flummoxed to process what he saw. His head swiveled toward her slowly. “Sequence...” he inhaled through his nose, “stopped. Odds of you having appropriate knowledge unlikely. How?”

He wasn’t arguing. _Thank god._ Her lips quirked up of their own accord. “I sent men ahead to undo the STG countermeasures.” 

He tilted his head slightly, the cold curiosity of a scientist sparking in his eyes. “Why not tell me?”

There she didn’t have an answer. Why risk good soldiers’ lives over a problem she wasn’t sure existed? Why not trust Mordin in the first place? “I just had this feeling. I couldn’t risk–” Her voice broke off and shattered. She swallowed, hoping to god the constriction of muscles could beat her voice into submission. “I couldn’t risk you.”

“Foolish,” he muttered, though only barely frowning as he examined the screen again. “Calculated.”

Before she could respond, a chunk of debris crashed to the floor only feet from them, the explosion of scorched shrapnel missing them by inches. “Shit!” She placed her fingers on his arm, pulling him back to her. “We have to go.”

She could practically hear the gears whirring at light speed in his head as he tried to calculate all the outcomes. While he did, another piece of flaming debris crashed closer still, this time sending the molten bits flying into their shields. “Mordin,” she breathed out, squeezing lightly. “It _will_ work. We have to go.” 

He looked from the door to the elevator and back to the console, until his eyes finally landed on her. “Let’s go.”

She didn’t wait for him to second guess his choice. They sprinted away from the base of the tower, and Melissa couldn’t help but grip his hand like it was the last solid thing in this world.

As they reached the mako, the sound of an explosion on high echoed through the atmosphere, followed by a charge in the air. They turned around in time to see the tower release a white steam. It hovered above the tower for a moment before spreading like wildfire across the atmosphere. Small golden specs floated to the burnt earth as it moved, as the tower that dispersed them collapsed in on itself in her peripherals. Melissa released Mordin and held out her hand. A spec fell onto her gauntlet and dissolved as soon as it hit. She turned back to Mordin, a wild grin on her face.

“You did it.”

He didn’t speak. His face would look blank to most, but she could see the awe in his eyes, in the way his mouth hung open just a little, as one of the gold specs hit his own outstretched hand. 

She walked over and placed her hand on his arm again, gently. He tore his eyes away from the sky and caught her gaze, a wavering smile forming on his lips.

His voice came out quiet, his awe more exposed in that sound more than anything else. “We did it.”

Melissa pulled him until they were flush against each other. A silent sob of relief shook through her. He was here. He’d survived. He could’ve died, but he _hadn’t_ . Her gut feeling was wrong. And he was here, wrapping his arms around her. 

Wrex walked over and clapped them both on the back, drawing their attention to him and Bakara.

“Alright, lovebirds, let’s get out of here,” he groused, beginning to make his way to the mako. “I have some good news for the clan.”

Melissa laughed and wiped at her eyes. She walked after them, with Mordin in tow, feeling for the first time in months like maybe, just maybe, they could win this.

Mordin never once let go of her hand.  


~~~

 

“Should be going with you. Could be advantageous for everyone.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” She smirked up at him as she slammed her heatsink home. “You’re getting too old for this.” She rose and made to move past him. As she walked, his hand on her bicep stopped her and forced her to look up into his eyes.

He touched the tips of his fingers to her face and brushed some of her hair behind her ear. “Don’t joke. Not now.”

The softness in his voice made her throat clench. She covered his hand with hers and pressed a kiss to his palm. “It’s going to be okay. We’re going to win.”

He sighed. “No way of knowing. Probability of survival,” he inhaled through his nose, “low. Want to be there for it.” He closed his eyes and took a breath before he reopened them. “ _Need_ to be there. With you.” 

The sting of tears came sharp in the corner of her eyes. She could hear what he wasn’t saying. He believed they were going to die. That this was the end. Part of her wanted to be furious, wanted to shake him and argue her point until he swayed to her view. But the rest of her…the rest of her was swallowed in the depths of that _look_ , in the honesty of the sadness there. More than anything, in that moment, she wanted to _not be_ Commander Shepard. She wanted to take them both away. She wanted everything to go away. 

But the Reapers were here – and she _was_ Commander Shepard. 

“Okay,” she breathed out. “Come with me then. We’ll kick their asses together.”

As she kissed his over-extended collarbone and turned to lead them back to the hub, they both knew she was lying.  


~~~

 

“ _Mordin_ !” she shrieked. 

He stumbled forward, clutching his side. Every part of his white outfit was stained in blood. Melissa threw her shotgun onto her back and sprinted for him while calling into her comm:

“This is Commander Shepard. I need an evac stat!”

“Roger that. ETA two minutes.”

The dirt and gravel sprayed at their feet as she stopped in front of Mordin. She slipped an arm around his waist, Garrus caught up to them moments after, bloodied himself. She swallowed against the taste of dirt and blood and dragged them forward.

“Shouldn’t have,” Mordin coughed, blood and saliva coming out with it and further staining his clothes, “called Normandy. Too dangerous.” He shot her a sidelong glance as they limped along, Reaper fire and gunshots roaring all around them.

“Good thing it’s not your call then,” she huffed, glaring up at him for a moment. Being stubborn was significantly easier to deal with than allowing the creeping worry to seep into her bones. “Garrus? You alright?”

“Nothing I won’t live through.”

The _Normandy_ came into view above the fray. Melissa swallowed and sped up. It really was a miracle that it hadn’t been hit, and she wasn’t about to push their luck. 

The ramp lowered as soon as they were close enough. After a few steps up, she passed Mordin off to Garrus. She tried to turn and sprint back into the fight, avoid the inevitable goodbyes and fathomless looks at all costs, but familiar fingers held her own in a vice grip. When she turned back, Mordin’s eyes held more fire in them than she’d ever seen.

“Stay. Risk versus reward,” he gasped, “not compatible.” He tugged her a few steps forward, weakly, but she allowed it. “Wasteful. Stupid.”

A sad smile tugged at her lips. She stepped closer and held his face in both her hands. Gods, she wished she wasn’t wearing gauntlets. What she would give to feel his skin against hers one more time. “You know I can’t stop. Not now.”

He inhaled sharply, but didn’t say a word. She thought she saw something like defeat flicker in his eyes. That just wouldn’t do.

Melissa leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. Her eyes fluttered shut as she relished the silk smoothness of his skin, and felt her heart skip as he kissed her in return. When she pulled away, it was too soon and too late, and they both knew it. 

“I love you,” she whispered, voice ragged and harsh. Tears streaked down her cheeks. She hadn’t even noticed them forming. “I always will.”

She nodded to Garrus, and before Mordin could reply, could make doubt leak into her, she sprinted down the ramp and ran for the beam.  


~~~  


It had been months since Melissa died. Some crew still visited, insisted she was _presumed dead_. That the search for her body continued. Mordin knew the truth. It went against all logic, all science, but he could feel her absence; a piece of him vacant that had previously been whole.

He looked out the window. The new Citadel was _greener_ . Different. The presidium waters winked. Would she have liked it? _Never talked about the Citadel_ , he realized. He had no idea why. He had no idea why they hadn’t talked more. Everything always felt more important. _Why_ ?  
He lifted his hand. The green electronics in his skin shimmered like a mirage in the light, a constant reminder of the merge of organics and synthetics that had followed the green blast of the Crucible.

No one knew for certain how it was possible. Mordin had an idea.

They only knew that their wounds healed and no one was sick and the Reapers were helping. _Helping_. Even thinking it sent his mind into a frenzy as he tried to categorize every trail of reason and possibility into an understandable box.

It never worked. Even with the clarity the synthesis had brought to his mind, some things, he knew, would always be unfathomable.

He missed her. Every glance at his own skin made the thought, the idea, grow and complicate in his mind. It made him _miss_ her. He missed the way she worked quietly in his lab while he remained absorbed in work. He missed their debates over ethics and risk versus reward. He missed the way she smiled at him when he rambled on about his latest discovery. He missed her light touch as she held his hand. He missed the sound of her breathing lulling him to sleep after a long day.

He missed her.

He rubbed his forefinger and thumb together. The green shimmer danced, iridescence in every movement.

She was dead, but not gone.  


~~~

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! This took soooo many a month. I labored over this thing for god even knows how long, and I just...I'm so glad it's out in the universe. And I'm grateful you took the time out of your life to read it. Truly <3
> 
> Any comments/kudos/what-have-yous are appreciated ^_^


End file.
